


A Heart Wide Open

by Kinngirl



Category: Glee
Genre: Gun Violence, M/M, description of school violence, possible character death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:35:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinngirl/pseuds/Kinngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When something unthinkable happens, Kurt and Finn both have way too much time to think about other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gunshots Ring Out

**Author's Note:**

> A re-take on the Season 4 episode "Shooting Star". Will contain discussion of gun violence at school. May feature character death(s),  
> Please do not read if this is triggering for you.
> 
> This work is un-beta'd and any mistakes are my own.

Finn Hudson slouches in the stiff auditorium chairs. He’s set up the couple of things Mr. Schue- Will- had asked him to and it didn't take as long as he thought it might, so now he’s sitting in the quiet of an empty auditorium for a bit. The place holds sentimental like value to Finn; so many memories. Maybe that is the problem with helping out at McKinley; he’s surrounded by memories and ghosts of his former life. He half expects to see Rachel step into the spotlight; to hear Kurt complain about someone’s clothing choice; to feel Puck throw an arm around his shoulders or clap him on the back. However, they’re not here, not anymore. Sometimes Puck will swing by to see Finn himself or Jake, but he hates being here. And it doesn’t help that Finn still does see Sam, who lived at Hudson-Hummel house with Kurt and Finn last year, and still lives there now. That he still hears Blaine and Tina gossiping and giggling on an almost daily basis. Plus, Brittany hugs him every time she sees him now, as if she is afraid he might disappear. 

Finn hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s not even sure how long it’s been, but it seems like a long time. When he falls asleep, he has such strange and vivid dreams that Finn wakes up tireder than when he went to sleep. Likely, it is that he just can’t seem to shut off his brain. Finn remembers suffering similarly in his sophomore year. For a while, he thought his girlfriend was pregnant, plus being in glee club, and a jock was difficult to pull off at the same time. He’d spend hours awake at night, usually resulting in him playing his Xbox until the wee hours of the morning, or watching tv hoping to find some late night nudity. Finn suspects that talking to someone might help, but maybe not just anyone. There is someone specific Finn thinks he could talk to about this; should talk to about this. However, this isn’t a conversation Finn wants to have via email or the telephone and that person is currently in New York while Finn is stuck in Lima. But, in just a few short weeks, they’ll both be in Lima. Finn can wait until then. He doesn’t have a choice really. 

Finn is still sitting in the McKinley auditorium when he hears it. A sound so foreign and bizarre in that environment but not one Finn is unfamiliar with; so it takes him a couple of minutes to realize a gunshot shouldn’t be heard in school. His first instinct is to go make sure everyone is all right, but as his hand lands on the handle of the auditorium doors, he sees his mother's worried eyes when he’d returned from Georgia. He hears Kurt clucking his tongue as Finn shows off his stupid self inflicted gun shot wound. Finn is suddenly terrified; more terrified than he has ever been. He drops to his hands and knees and crawls over and wedges himself under a row of seats. He feels in his pocket for his phone, turning it off so it doesn’t accidently go off and give away his location and so that he won’t be tempted and distracted by it. Finn doesn’t even register the tears leaking out of his eyes until they hit the backs of his hands, pillowed under his chin. 

~~~

Kurt stretches and yawns as he leaves his last class for the day. He’s glad it’s almost the weekend. There is something that just feels off and Kurt wants to curl up with his favorite movies, some ice cream, a cheesecake, and freshly baked cookies. Kurt pulls his cell phone from his bag to start making a list of ingredients for cookies. He turns his ringer back on and almost immediately it begins to ring. Kurt flashes a quick look at the caller id and notices it’s his step-mother, Carole, calling. 

“Carole,” Kurt says almost breathlessly. It’s not his fault; a call from Carole always scares him into thinking something is wrong with his dad.

“Kurt, hi,” she says, and Kurt can pick up on something in her voice. It makes his blood run cold. 

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asks anxiously as he stops and leans up against a wall, not trusting his own legs to keep him standing upright.

“Sorry,” Carole says apologetically. “I don’t mean to scare you Kurt. Your Dad is fine.” 

Kurt hears Carole cover the mouthpiece of her phone, then a couple of hushed words between Carole and his father before Burt speaks to his son. 

“I’m fine kiddo- I swear,” Burt says. Kurt can hear a tone in his voice too- one that Kurt knows means something is up. “I can hear you worrying over the phone. Stop it!”

“But something is wrong,” Kurt says. “I can feel it. I can hear it in both of your voices.”

Burt sighs into the phone. “Have you heard from Finn or any of your glee club friends back here today?”

“No,” Kurt says, relaxing a little. This doesn’t sound as bad as the scenarios playing in his head. “I mean, I just got out of class and they’re all still probably in class too. Plus Finn and I don’t talk on the phone that much really. Just lots of texts, emails, facebook posts, you know.”

“Have you heard from Finn in any of those ways today?” Carole asks softly. 

“I think he posted something on my facebook wall early this morning,” Kurt says. “Did you loose Finn or something?” Kurt can’t help but chuckle a little because the thought of his 6 foot everything brother being ‘lost’ is ridiculous.

However, the muffled sob that escaped Carole stops Kurt. “What’s going on?”

“The school, McKinley, it’s on lockdown right now,” Burt says. “Apparently there were gunshots.”

“Gunshots?” Kurt says, maybe a little too loudly if the reaction of the people passing him in the NYADA halls is to be believed. 

“Gunshots,” Burt confirms. “And we haven’t been able to get a hold of your brother.”

Kurt feels himself sliding down the wall until he is sitting on the floor. “You haven’t heard from him? You don’t know if he’s ok?”

“No,” Burt’s voice is soft and thick with emotion. “So if you hear from him, make him call his mother.”

“Ok,” Kurt says softly. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Burt says. “I know there was glee club practice today but your brother is not the most punctual person. Maybe he didn’t show up until after the lockdown, and he’s fine- just forgot his phone in his dorm or something.”

“That does sound a little like Finn,” Kurt agrees softly.

“And even if he is in there, I know he didn’t make it all the way through, but he’s got some military training,” Burt says. “He might not be a great academic, but this is the kind of thing Finn is very smart at.”

Kurt nods even though Burt can’t see him. “You’ll let me know what happens.”

“I will,” Burt agrees. “Bye kiddo- I love you.”

“I love you too Dad, Carole,” Kurt says quietly. 

~~~

Kurt sits on the floor for a few minutes before he stands up and dusts himself off. He walks out of the building and across campus, heading towards an atm where he withdraws some cash because he was making a grocery list before his phone rang after all. He heads for the subway and gets all the way down in the tunnel before he turns around and heads back up above ground. He hails a taxi; when the driver asks him where to, the answer surprises Kurt himself. 

“Laguardia,” he says in a monotone voice. 

The drive is uneventful; Kurt spends it wavering between staring out the window and staring at his phone, willing it to ring. When he arrives at Laguardia and is dropped off the domestic departure terminal, he walks up to the first ticketing agent and begins to ask about the next available flight to Columbus, Dayton or Toledo. In the end, Kurt gets on a flight headed for Dayton because it will get him back in Lima the fastest assuming there are no problems renting a car in Dayton. Once he has boarded the flight, Kurt turns off his phone when they tell him to and he hopes Burt and Carole don’t try to call while he is en route and worry when he doesn’t pick up. 

Kurt spends the just over four hour flight, including a brief stop in Philadelphia, thinking about Finn. Kurt remembers the first time he ever saw Finn Hudson; the first time Finn inadvertently stuck up for him, the first time he realized he was crushing on the boy and the first thing he ever said to Finn and Finn said to him. Kurt does remember the last time he saw Finn; at the doomed Schuester-Pillsbury wedding, but Kurt can’t remember the last thing he said to Finn or Finn said to him. Kurt can’t remember the last time he told Finn he loved him, and he’s allowed to say that, they’re brother’s after all and their relationship has changed dramatically since sophomore year. Kurt doesn’t remember the last time Finn’s said that either, but Kurt knows it’s true. Finn wears his heart on his sleeve, and his love is shown continuously through his actions; both grand over the top gestures and silly acts of kindness. It’s something Kurt knows he could easily stand to learn from Finn. He just hopes that Finn has never doubted what he means to Kurt. 

When Kurt lands in Dayton; he rents a compact car. It doesn’t take very long thankfully, and Kurt is on the road, heading towards Lima even quicker than he had anticipated. He opts not to turn on his phone because he knows he is already distracted enough, he doesn’t need bad news or lack of news to cause him to have an accident. He opts not to listen to the radio either; in case there is news coverage and since his phone is off he can’t just listen to it, so instead Kurt sings out loud in the car for an hour or so it takes to drive from the Dayton airport to his house in Lima. Arriving at the Hudson-Hummel house, Kurt feels his heart constrict. The driveway and all up and down the road are filled with vehicles. Kurt recognizes Blaine’s car, Sam’s jeep and Tina’s vw beetle. Kurt ends up having to turn around and park across the street in front of the White’s house. 

Kurt opens the door and calls immediately for his dad and Carole, but before they come out, Kurt sees Blaine, Sam, Brittany, and Tina all huddled together on the couch, talking softly, sobbing a little and touching each other comfortingly. It’s like a punch to the gut, and Kurt feels his heart begin to race. It was like awaking to a house full of relatives when his mother had passed away. Blaine sees Kurt, and he stands up and walks over to him. Kurt lets himself be pulled into Blaine’s embrace, neither of them says anything but Kurt finds himself suddenly in the middle of a four sided hug. Kurt can’t even vocalize his distress, and he knows if it were not for all of them holding him up, he would have already crumpled to the floor. 

Burt and Carole emerge from the kitchen; red eyed. 

“Kurt,” Burt says as he pulls his son from the pile of teenagers and holds him tight, Carole by his side.

Kurt begins sobbing. “I’m sorry Carole; I’m so sorry. I just went right to the airport after we talked. I’m sorry Dad.”

“Its ok kiddo,” Burt says nodding. “It's understandable that you want to be here now. You could have called; I would have picked you up.”

“No, no,” Kurt insists. “I couldn’t take you away from Carole right now.” 

Burt turns and looks at Carole over top his son’s head. He holds Kurt out at an arms distance. “What?”

Before Kurt has a chance to say anything else though, a voice booms from the top of the stairs.

“Did I hear Kurt’s voice?” 

Kurt looks up, his eyes roll back in his head, and he faints.


	2. Not as Bad as it Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt learns it's not as bad as it seems. The McKinley kids share their experiences.

When Kurt begins to regain consciousness he thinks he feels Blaine’s hand, familiar and warm, in his. However, when he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Finn’s face again. He thinks he hears his dad saying his name. 

“Am I dead now too?” he whispers to Finn.

“Too?” Finn asks; his expression twists in confusion. “Who died?”

“Carole called me; she couldn’t reach you on the phone and told me about the shooting at the school,” Kurt explains. He looks up at Finn and shakes his head a little. “But you’re really here though.” He sits up and reaches out to touch Finn; make sure he is real. “Everyone was here when I got here. They hugged me. Their eyes were red; like they’d been crying. Carole and Dads’ too.”

“You thought I had died?” Finn whispers- his voice sounds strange to Kurt and his eyes are wide. 

Kurt nods. “I’m really glad you didn’t.”

Finn cracks one of his half smiles at Kurt. “Me too, Dude.”

“Everyone is fine,” Carole says. “Sam, Blaine, and the girls are still a bit shook up from the experience. They don’t want to be apart right now, so Burt and I thought we’d offer to make dinner for everyone. This way they could spend time together, and us adults can be near them, and also talk to each other about what happened today.” Carole gestures behind Kurt. “It was a very intense day.”

Kurt turns his head and realizes the Hudson-Hummel living room is packed with not just his family, and his four friends but also with the Andersons, the Pierces and The Cohen-Changs. He nods in silent hello at everyone.

“Sam’s family are driving up from Kentucky; they’ll be here later tonight,” Burt explains. “We weren’t exactly expecting you or Finn.”

“But we’ll make it work,” Carole says softly.

“I can go back to the dorms,” Finn says.

“You’ll do no such thing, Finn Hudson,” Carole admonishes. “Not after scaring me like that today. Like I said, we’ll figure it out later.”

~~~

Once Burt and Carole are sure Kurt is ok, the parents all filter back into the dining room where they continue drinking their coffee and eating the pie Mrs. Pierce brought over. The teens all settle in the living room, to watch a movie. Finn and Kurt each sit on the sofa, and Blaine plops down in between them; which is not all that different from last year. Sam settles on the floor in front of Blaine and pulls Brittany and Tina in under each of his arms. Finn’s leg gets sandwiched between Brittany and Sam. Tina leans back, snuggling in between Kurt and Blaine’s legs.

“I’m glad you were safe too, Finn,” Brittany whispers as she nuzzles his knee. 

They are quiet, but Finn wonders what their experience was like in the choir room. “It must have been comforting at least, that you guys were all together right?” 

Sam snorts softly. 

“We weren’t though,” Blaine says, turning to look at Finn. “Sam and I were in the choir room with most of the others and Mr. Schue and Coach Bieste.”

“I had gone to get something from my car, and I was locked out of the school,” Tina says sadly.

“I was in the bathroom,” Brittany says. “I put my feet up on the toilet and crouched to stay hidden by the stalls. It was scary, and my legs were shaking from fear and because I was in that position for so long.”

“Oh,” Finn exclaims softly, “I didn’t know.”

“I wanted to come after you,” Sam says to Brittany. “But Mr. Schue and Coach wouldn’t let me.” He leans in and strokes her cheek softly before pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. 

“I completely shut down,” Blaine says softly. “I curled in on myself and wanted to hide. I didn’t want to think; I didn’t want to feel anything.”

“Mr. Schue found me, and a couple of others, in the bathroom,” Brittany says. “I was so afraid when I first heard the door open. I was sure it was the shooter or one of the shooters. I could hear shoes clicking against the floor, and I just started to cry, but I tried to stay quiet.” Brittany begins to sob softly. “Then I heard Mr. Schue whisper my name and I almost fell over with relief. I opened the door to the stall and just hugged him.”

Finn looks over at Kurt, who has been eerily quiet. He is sitting stiffly on his end of the sofa, his eyes glimmering with tears. Finn reaches along the back of the sofa, behind Blaine’s shoulders, and puts his hand on Kurt’s shoulder, squeezing gently. Kurt looks up at Finn and tilts his head to rest his cheek against his shoulder, on Finn’s hand. Finn turns his hand over, gently cupping Kurt’s cheek, brushing his thumb over Kurt’s cheek bone. Kurt closes his eyes fully, his lashes fluttering against his cheek and when he opens them again, Finn’s thumb wipes away the tears that fall silently.

“When they finally let me back in the school, I ran to the choir room,” Tina admits. 

“I was so glad to see you walk in Tee,” Blaine says softly. He reaches out and runs his hand through her silky raven hair. “I’m glad you weren’t in the school. Although we didn’t know where you were, but I’m glad you were always safe.”

“What about you, Dude?” Sam asks. “Where were you?”

Finn startles slightly as everyone turns to look him. He pulls his hand from Kurt’s cheek, not that anyone appears to have noticed. “I was in the auditorium. I heard the shots and honestly it took me a minute to realize that wasn’t something I should hear at school.” Finn grimaces a little. “I guess maybe I’m a little used to gunshots from the little bit of time I spent at boot camp.” 

Sam and Blaine nod in unison; it seems like a valid enough reason.  
Finn rubs at the back of his neck nervously. “I dropped to the ground and tried to wedge myself in under a row of the seats.” He chuckles softly, “I kinda had the opposite problem as you Blaine. I couldn’t stop thinking. I couldn’t get my brain to stop thinking. I thought about so many things.”

“Like what?” Brittany asks. She’s petting his leg, probably unaware that she is doing so, as if it were her cat. 

“Everything,” Finn sighs. “I thought about football, about Glee club, my time at boot camp. I thought about Burt’s garage and college.” Finn looks around, meeting everyone’s eyes briefly. “I thought about everyone; my family- the people I chose as my family, especially….” Finn exhales loudly, trailing off his thought, letting them all finish the sentence how they want. Chances are; none of them would even suspect whom Finn had really thought of while he huddled under the row of seats in the auditorium. So hearing their stories, especially Brittany and Sam’s, makes Finn feel guilty for hiding and not going to help. He’s glad no one has questioned why he hid. 

Kurt picks up the remote and starts the movie; everyone settles back in their spots. Finn can’t help but continue to steal glances at Kurt and wish Blaine wasn’t sitting between them. There is something that just seems off with Kurt, and Finn just wants to fix it; fix him. Sometimes Kurt catches Finn looking and offers him a weak smile, but it seems heartless and cold. Kurt is detached even when Blaine’s hand falls on his thigh and caresses it around the middle part of the movie. Watching them out of the corner of his eye, Finn thinks it’s possible Blaine doesn’t even realize he is doing it. Especially since Blaine’s other hand is resting on Sam’s head and carding through the blonde’s hair. 

~~~

“Since Mom and Burt are putting Sam’s parents in Kurt’s old room, and Stevie and Stacey in Sam’s room, I thought we could all pile in my room,” Finn suggests to Sam and Kurt, “like at a hotel during competitions.”

“Maybe I’ll just bunk in with Stevie and Stacey,” Sam says. “They seem a little shook up. They might have nightmares, and it’d be better if I were there to help calm them down in the middle of the night.”  
Finn nods in understanding, but it’s not like he’s ever had siblings. Unless he counts Puck or well, Kurt. And Finn isn’t the one that almost lost a sibling today; that’s Kurt. 

“I guess that leaves just you and me, Kurt,” Finn says as he wraps an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt looks at Finn’s hand curled around the top of his arm; then turns and blinks up at Finn like he doesn’t understand why Finn is holding onto him. 

“Burt’s got a couple of sleeping bags and extra blankets and here I have some extra pillows,” Carole offers. Finn grabs a blanket and a pillow, plus a sleeping bag just to be safe. 

“I’m going to bunk in with Stevie and Stacey,” Sam explains. He takes a couple of pillows and a sleeping bag. 

Carole nods. “Kurt, maybe you should get anything you need out of your room that you might need, before Mr. & Mrs. Evans turn in for the night.”

Kurt looks at Carole wide eyed for a moment before he blinks and shakes his head. “Yeah, I should do that I guess.” He knocks softly on his door, and then opens the door to collect some of his things. 

“Kurt seems a little… off,” Finn whispers to Carole.

Carole pats her son’s shoulder. “He’s probably just exhausted Finn. He had a full day of classes and then he got the news and flew home and drove himself up from Dayton.”

Finn nods, “You’re probably right. I’m sure he’ll be fine tomorrow once he gets some sleep.”

“Exactly,” Carole says. 

Finn hugs his mom. “Night mom, love you.”

Carole looks up at her son and smiles, her eyes shining. “I love you too, Finn. Good night.”

Finn goes into his room and sets up the sleeping bag, pillow and blanket he grabbed on the floor between the bed and the wall. He closed his door and takes off his jeans and boxers, replacing them with a pair of pajama pants. As he’s removing his shirt and sweater, there’s a knock on the door.

“Finn?” Kurt’s voice is soft through the door. 

“Yeah, come in,” Finn says, as he shrugs out of the shoulders of his shirt and lays it over his desk chair with his jeans and sweater. He grabs his tee shirt to pull on but looks up when he hears Kurt squeak. 

“Sorry,” Kurt mumbles as he looks away and shuts the door behind himself. 

Finn laughs softly. “Its ok, I said come in.”

“I could have waited a minute for you to finish dressing,” Kurt says, his eyes still downcast. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Finn shrugs. He sits down on the bed and kicks at Kurt’s shin. 

Kurt looks up at Finn and gives him half of a smile. “I didn’t even go back to the loft and pack. I brought nothing with me.”

“Do you want something of mine to sleep in?” Finn offers.

“No, I’ve got stuff here, thankfully,” Kurt says. “And maybe I realized that, I don’t know. I was on auto-pilot I guess.”

“Hopefully your plane wasn’t,” Finn tries to joke. However, Kurt doesn’t even smile. 

“I should go change,” Kurt says as he gestures to Finn’s bathroom and walks over, his arms full of stuff. 

The bathroom door opens more quickly than Finn had anticipated; Kurt now wearing a pair of pajama pants and an old McKinely high tee that Finn is pretty sure used to be his. Kurt doesn’t leave the bathroom though; he stands at the sink and begins to wash his face. Finn leans back on his arms on the bed, watching Kurt. 

“Do you come home much?” Kurt asks.

“Probably not as much as mom would like,” Finn replies. “I come for dinner or when I need some advice, but I don’t usually spend the night.”

Kurt grimaces. “What are the chances that your sheets are clean?”

Finn leans over and sniffs at the duvet cover. “It smells clean.”

“Rachel’s glad your ok, by the way,” Kurt says. “She called wondering where I was earlier.”

“You didn’t even call her before you left?” Finn asks.

“It didn’t even occur to me to let anyone know,” Kurt says. “Rachel’s call led to a couple of emails to my profs and a quick call to Isabelle, who was very understanding.”

“When did all of this happen?”

“You guys were in the backyard seeing who could spit sunflower seed husks the farthest,” Kurt says. 

Finn nods, “Oh yeah, I remember your phone ringing, and you disappeared for a while.”

“Yes, well, in hindsight, I probably should have thought of letting someone know before I got on an airplane,” Kurt explains. 

“I probably would have done the same thing,” Finn says. He stands up and walks over to the bathroom, leaning against the door frame. “If I had gotten a call or heard about a shooting or a gunman at NYADA, in Bushwick, or at Vogue, I would have left for New York right away.”

Kurt looks up at Finn then, for a moment. Then he shakes his head and looks back at his reflection, smoothing cream onto his face. 

“I should probably brush my teeth while I’m up,” Finn says as he moves to stand beside Kurt at the sink. He knocks Kurt’s shoulder gently with his own, and smiles when he sees Kurt make eye contact with him in the mirror. It feels a little intimate and domestic to stand at the sink with Kurt. Finn feels it tingle through his veins. Finn finishes brushing his teeth and walks back into his bedroom and stretches out on the sleeping bag on the floor. 

When Kurt returns to the room, he stops short. “I didn’t mean to kick you out of your own bed.”

“You’ve had a long day, with classes and traveling,” Finn says. “I can’t make you sleep on the floor. And the bed is hardly big enough for me, let alone you and me both.”

“If you’re sure,” Kurt says. He walks over and turns off the overhead light before he climbed into the bed.

“I’m sure. Good night, Kurt.”

“Thanks,” Kurt says softly. “Good night, Finn.”


	3. Warm Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Kurt do their usual brotherly bonding over warm milk.

Finn thinks given all the excitement of the day, that maybe he’ll easily fall asleep. But his insomnia rears its ugly head again, and Finn is helpless to do anything but lie there in the dark. That discussion Finn thinks he needs to have could happen now; Kurt is here. Not even just in Lima here, but here, in his room, with him. But for all the excitement that Finn had felt, he knew Kurt had also had a long day. And he just couldn’t wake him up to burden him with his problems because it wouldn’t be a quick and easy conversation. This is an epic, brotherly sort of conversation. One that should probably start with some of Kurt’s favorite, warm milk and a plate full of cookies or maybe some of his mother’s banana nut loaf. 

Finn rolls over onto his side, facing the bed and comes face to face with Kurt, who is right on Finn’s side of the bed, his hand hanging down over the edge. Even in the darkness, Finn can tell Kurt’s face is smooshed into the pillow. Finn smiles slightly, happy that Kurt had fallen asleep given how exhausted he’d been earlier. But his smile quickly disappears when he hears sniffling coming from the pillow, and he watches as Kurt’s shoulders shudder with what Finn can only assume are sobs.

Finn reaches out and takes Kurt's hand in his. “Kurt?”

Kurt looks up from the pillow; his eyes and cheeks glistening with tears in the low light that slips through the curtains. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Finn assures Kurt with a shake of his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t- I can’t sleep,” Kurt hiccups. 

“Me neither,” Finn confesses.

“I was so worried,” Kurt says in a whisper. He puts his face back into the pillow and sobs softly again. 

Finn sits up and rubs Kurt’s back in what he hopes is a comforting manner. The sobs seem to subside after a while, and Finn hopes he played a small part in that. “Do you want me to make us some warm milk?”

Kurt lifts his head from the pillow and smiles at Finn, the tips of his perfect, white teeth glimmering in the night as he nods his head. 

Finn stands up and walks over to the door, not noticing until he’s in the hall that Kurt is right behind him. He lowers his voice as they pass Sam’s room. “I was just going to bring it up when it’s done.”

Kurt waits until they are on the stairs to respond. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Finn nods, because that makes sense. He doesn’t bother to turn on the lights, just grabs a small saucepan from the cupboard and fills it three quarters of the way with milk before setting it on the stove, turning it on low. 

Kurt sits down at the island, watching Finn move about the kitchen. “So what else is going on with you? How are classes?” 

“Classes are ok,” Finn shrugs. “I’ve been having some issues sleeping, and that’s kind of rolling over into my concentration in class. Thankfully I know people in all of my classes, so I’ve been borrowing and copying notes,” he pauses as he grabs a spoon from the drawer. “Hopefully it won’t be an issue.”

“Why are you having issues sleeping?” Kurt asks, his brows furrowed in concern. “What’s going on?”

“Just got stuff on my mind,” Finn says as he moves over to start stirring the milk. “Feels like I can’t shut off my brain at night. Kinda like in sophomore year with everything that was going on with Quinn.”

Kurt nods; he can kind of understand what Finn is saying. All day it’s felt like he couldn’t shut off his brain either no matter how much he wanted to. “We can discuss it over our warm milk.”

Finn blanches for a moment, turning to look at Kurt, “It’s a little complicated and a long conversation for tonight.” He smiles kind of shyly at Kurt then, “But maybe tomorrow or before you go back to New York? I kind of thought I was going to have to wait until you came back for your dad’s appointment to talk to you about stuff.”

“You could have just called Finn,” Kurt says. “If you need to talk, I’m going to make time for you.” Kurt shakes his head sadly.

Finn takes down two mugs and puts them on the counter in front of Kurt. “I know. It’s just not a phone kind of conversation. It’s a face to face one.” Finn chuckles softly. “It’s really a warm milk one but we’re both too exhausted for it tonight.”

Kurt smiles at Finn then. “Well, you’ve definitely piqued my curiosity now Finn.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll keep,” Finn insists with a shake of his head. He pours the two mugs of milk and then rinses the pot. Finn picks up his mug of milk when he’s done and walks around the island, heading for the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Kurt asks as he picks up his own mug.

“Upstairs,” Finn replies. He stops at the bottom and turns to look at Kurt. “Dude, I’m exhausted and you’re like practically sleep walking. If we drink this down here, you’re gonna pass out on me and I’m gonna have to carry you back upstairs,” Finn ducks his head as a blush warms his cheeks at the way the end of that sentence came out.

“Uh, yeah, let’s not let that happen,” Kurt agrees as he joins Finn on the stairs. 

It’s a tight fit for both of them to squeeze onto the bed, leaning up against the wall, with the pillows behind their backs; their shoulders touching, arms brushing and legs pressed against each other. 

“This has been the craziest day,” Finn says as he finishes his milk and puts his mug on the nightstand. 

Kurt nods slowly, agreeing silently with Finn. “When Carole called, my first thought was my Dad. But getting to hear his voice, it calmed me a little.” Kurt lays his own mug aside and slumps down on the bed a little, leaning slightly against Finn. “But then Dad told me about the lockdown at the school and that there was a shooter and no one could get a hold of you.” 

Finn sees Kurt’s eyes blink rapidly a couple of times, tears glistening on the tips of his lashes. He snakes his arm around Kurt and pulls him even closer. “I’m so sorry Kurt. I didn’t even think you know, that mom calling you would make you think something was wrong with your dad.”

Kurt turns his head, looking up at Finn. “It’s not like it’s your fault. I just- maybe it’s better not to let anyone in.” Kurt bends his head, tucking himself under Finn’s shoulder, resting his head against Finn’s chest.

“I think that kinda defeats the purpose of school, Dude,” Finn chuckles. 

Kurt chuffs out something like a laugh. “That’s not what I meant Finn- and I’m pretty sure you know that. It’s just, you know, letting people in, letting love in, letting people get past my walls; it’s not easy for me. And when things like this happen it makes me wonder if it’s even worth it.”

Finn nods at first, because yes, he kind of understands what Kurt was trying to say and it had nothing to do with not letting people into the school. “Wait- what do you mean if it’s worth it?”

“I mean, of course I love my dad and my mom, but then she died and it still hurts, Finn. Not every day, but it’s still there, all the time.” Kurt sniffles a little and begins to toy with the drawstring on his pants. “And when my Dad got sick, I was a wreck. But thankfully he got better, for a while anyway, and then you and Carole joined our family and it wasn’t easy letting your guys in so fully. I know I set them up, but I don’t think I ever anticipated it would end like this.”

“Hey, nothing is ending,” Finn whispers. “We’re family; we’re always going to be a family. Your mom didn’t stop being your mom just because Burt married my mom. My dad is still my dad even if my mom is married to Burt. We just all get to be a little happier now.”

“I know,” Kurt nods against Finn’s chest. “But now, with you and Carole, I have two more people to worry about losing. And then there’s Blaine. I let him in and then he hurt me so badly Finn; and sure he didn’t die, but I kind of felt like I did. And for sure, part of what we had, part of what was special about us, died then.” Kurt begins to sob softly, clutching the material of Finn’s shirt in his hands. 

“I guess you were pretty happy to see Blaine when you got here; to know he was safe,” Finn murmurs.

Kurt shakes his head back and forth a couple of times and then looks up at Finn. “I mean, yes, I’m glad he was ok. That Sam and Tina and everyone were ok too. But honestly, I wasn’t thinking about Blaine or any of them on my way home.”

“Oh,” Finn swallows harshly. The look Kurt was giving him was so intense, so full of pain, and yet, undeniably vulnerable. 

“All I could think about, the only one I was worried about was you,” Kurt whispers. His eyes flutter closed and he buries his face into Finn’s chest again. “I didn’t have a single thought about Blaine until I saw his car out on the street. It’s like he didn’t even exist.”

“Of course,” Finn breathes deeply. “My mom called you, Dude. I think it makes sense that you were concerned about me.” Finn shakes his head a little to clear away the thoughts trying to creep in. Now was not the time for Finn to think about Kurt only being worried about him and what that might mean. It was not the time to talk to Kurt about his own confusing feelings about their relationship.

“It’s like, here’s another person I love another part of my family that was almost taken away from me,” Kurt says softly. “Why does this keep happening to me?” 

“Hey,” Finn says, as he grabs Kurt’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m not going anywhere; you’re not going to lose me. Okay?” Finn lets his own eyes close at the intensity of feelings that are coursing through him.

“I couldn’t remember the last time I told you how much you mean to me,” Kurt whispers. “I’m not good at showing or saying stuff like that. Not like you. And it was scary to think that you might be gone and not know how I feel.”

“Dude, no Kurt, I know,” Finn says, his eyes still closed, his heart beating a little too wildly for his comfort. “If there is anything I’m sure of, it’s you. That you’re in my corner and you are going to support me no matter how stupid I’m being. Because we’re family and we love each other.” Finn’s eyes fly open and he looks at Kurt for a moment. “You do know that right?”

Kurt nods. “I mean, I couldn’t exactly remember exactly, the last time you said it. But ever since things have changed between us, I’ve always known that you are my biggest supporter.” 

“Good,” Finn says. He brings his hand up to cradle Kurt’s head and guide it towards his chest, encouraging Kurt to rest against him again. Kurt relaxes and lays his head against Finn, as Finn’s fingers massage gently at his scalp. “Wanna know a secret about today?”

“Ok,” Kurt says sleepily.

“At first, when I heard the gunshots, I was going to leave the auditorium and try to help or something,” Finn says. “But like the instant my hand hit the door handle, all I could think of was Mom and Burt and you. We’ve all lost someone from our families already and I just couldn’t handle thinking about what would happen if I forced you guys to lose me too.” Finn exhales loudly, “That sounds pretty conceited huh?” 

Kurt shakes his head against Finn’s chest. 

“Besides, I think maybe I’ve used up all of my surviving a gunshot mojo,” Finn attempts to joke.

“That’s not even a little bit funny, Finn Hudson,” Kurt says softly around a yawn. 

“I know,” Finn laments. His fingers continue to gently massage at Kurt’s scalp; especially near his temple. “Anyhow, so then I just kind of high tailed it under one of the rows of seats and tried to hide myself as best I could. I shut off my phone so it wouldn’t give me away or distract me.” Finn can tell by the way Kurt’s breathing is changing that he’s almost asleep. “I tried to just focus on listening and keeping myself safe but I couldn’t help but think about things, about people. Like you said, hoping they knew how much they meant to me.” Finn’s head falls back against the wall gently, his eyes closing. “I kept thinking what if this was it for me, and I didn’t get a chance to make things right. The chance to know what could have been.”

There’s no response to what Finn says so he opens his eyes and looks down at Kurt, who appears be asleep. Finn attempts to extract himself from Kurt, without jostling him too much and waking him up, so he can turn off the lamp and go back to his makeshift bed on the floor. 

“Don’t go, please,” Kurt whispers as he tightens his arms around Finn. “I can hear your heartbeat this way and I know you’re still here with us.”

“Ok,” Finn says softly, swallowing down his nerves. “Just, let me get the light, and grab us a blanket, all right.”

“Mmmm,” Kurt murmurs sleepily. 

Instead of standing up, Finn just stretches over, and across Kurt’s almost asleep form, pressing their bodies flush against each other, to switch off the floor lamp between the bed and the desk. Finn rolls back, gently pulling Kurt with him, and reaches down to grab his blanket off the floor. He spreads the blanket over himself and Kurt and that is when he realizes that his left arm that is trapped behind Kurt. He brings his hand up and rests it between Kurt’s waist and his hip, his fingers gently splaying and covering a larger area. And Finn’s left leg is under Kurt’s; resulting in Kurt’s body almost straddling the left side of his. Finn swallows thickly. He’s not uncomfortable; in fact, he’s feeling quite happy to be laying there with Kurt. Finn reaches up with his right hand and lightly covers Kurt’s left hand that is resting on the right side of Finn’s chest. “I’m not going anywhere Kurt, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my thanks to roserosa for her time and some suggestions & tips on this chapter


	4. Have No Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the light of day, the tension rises and confessions are made.

It’s light chatter in the hallway and noises drifting up from the kitchen downstairs that wake Finn up initially. He is incredibly warm, and there is a weight to his blankets, especially on his left side that doesn’t usually exist. Something tickles at Finn’s nose and he twitches it experimentally, his nostrils filling with a familiar but unrecognizable scent. He blinks his eyes slowly, and everything comes into focus.

There is a light knocking on his door before Carole calls out softly. “Finn? Kurt?”

Finn doesn’t have a chance to answer before Carole pushes the door open. He notices his mother’s eyes widen as she takes in the scene before her. But when their eyes meet, she has a sappy kind of a smile on her face. The same one from the wedding when Finn had pulled Kurt up onto the dance floor and danced with him.

“It’s not wha-” Finn begins to say quietly.

Carole shakes her head. “It’s okay. I just wanted to let you know that I’m making breakfast if you’re hungry.”

Finn smiles. “I’m always hungry.”

Carole smiles back. “Somethings never change.” She turns and leaves the bedroom.

Kurt is the warm weight on Finn’s left side; his hair, his shampoo currently tickling at Finn’s nose. Finn’s mind starts clicking, putting together all of the places Kurt is currently touching him, and Finn is grateful for the blanket that is covering most of them. Like Kurt’s right hand, that is snaked around Finn’s shoulder, his warm palm resting on the back of Finn’s neck with his long fingers in the short hair at Finn’s nape. Kurt’s head is cradled in the indent of Finn’s collarbone; his mouth, slightly open and expelling little puffs of warm, moist air onto Finn’s tee shirt clad chest, just over Finn’s left nipple. Kurt’s right leg is flush up against the outside of Finn’s left leg, which the rest of his body is soft of straddling, with Kurt’s left leg, bent at almost a ninety-degree angle, his knee resting against Finn’s upper thigh. Kurt’s left arm is draped across Finn’s waist; his hand splayed just above Finn’s right hip. Finn’s shirt has ridden up a little during the night, and Kurt’s hand is against his bare skin, with his pinky and ring fingers having somehow slipped under the elastic of his pajama pants.

Finn can’t help but notice his cock as it begins to twitch slightly from where it has Kurt’s leg pressed up against it, and Kurt’s arm resting just above the tip. Finn bites his lip, fists his right hand in the sheets, and swallows a moan that threatens to escape. Finn’s left hand is resting above Kurt’s pajamas, on the small of Kurt’s back, his long fingers tantalizingly close to the cleft of Kurt’s ass. Despite the fact that Kurt continues to slumber on, Finn can feel Kurt’s cock stir against his thigh.

Anxious to extract himself from Kurt before he makes a fool of himself, Finn begins to slide out slowly from under Kurt. He shifts his pillow so he can guide Kurt’s head from him to it. As he moves though, Kurt’s fingers slide from Finn’s hip and across his lower abdomen, getting increasingly closer to the tip of Finn’s almost hard cock. As Kurt’s fingers skim the head of his cock, Finn instinctively bucks up into the light touch, this results in Kurt’s hand moving further down into Finn’s pajamas. Finn feels Kurt’s hand wrap around him, and he can’t help but hiss in pleasure.

Kurt’s eyes squint open in Finn’s direction.

Finn smiles softly at Kurt. “Sssh, go back to sleep. I’m just trying to get out of bed without waking you up,” he whispers.

“I’m- am I holding your cock?” Kurt mumbles sleepily.

“Kind of,” Finn grimaces slightly. “It just kind of happened as I tried to get out from under you.”

“’S nice,” Kurt murmurs as he gives Finn one gentle stroke before pulling his hand out of Finn’s pants. He props himself up slightly, allowing Finn to slide out from under him without further incident. “’M just gonna sleep s’me more.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Finn whispers. He pulls the blanket up over Kurt and makes his way over to the bathroom to take care of some morning business before heading downstairs.

000

The Hudson-Hummel kitchen is full when Finn comes down, his hair still sticking up every which way, and in his pyjamas. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, as well as Stacey and Stevie, are sitting at the table with Burt. His mom is making pancakes and scrambled eggs while the coffee percolates. He leans over and kisses her cheek. “Good morning Mom,” he smiles at her and grabs a mug out of the cupboard above her. He walks over and squeezes Burt’s shoulder lightly, “morning Burt,” and nods at the older Evans.

“Is Kurt still asleep?” Burt asks as he looks up at his stepson leaning against the entry between the kitchen and living room.

Finn nods. “He woke up briefly, but he was still tired. He didn’t fall asleep easily. We were up for a while.” 

“I noticed the pot in the sink,” Carole smiles at Finn. 

“Yeah, Kurt’s favorite,” Finn says. “I’ll bring him up some breakfast if he doesn’t make it down before I finish.”

Finn watches as him mom pours several cups of coffee, passing one to each adult and himself. As she moves back around to the stove, she pushes a plate with a stack of pancakes, eggs, and bacon towards Finn. “Eat,” she says sternly.

Finn leans against the counter, eating his breakfast mostly in silence while his parents talk with Sam’s family. Finn doesn’t mean to be rude by not engaging in the conversation; it’s just that his brain is thinking about a million other things, most of them involving Kurt. Once he’s finished and is about to make a second plate for Kurt, he sees Sam jog up the back steps. The blonde’s hair is damp, and his skin is flushed from his obvious taxing morning run. He opens the back door, letting it slam shut behind him. Before Sam even gets a morning greeting out of his mouth, there is a scream from upstairs.

Finn is closest to the kitchen entry and is up the stairs in a blur of movement, Burt and Carole both following, but slightly behind him. “Kurt?” he asks cautiously as he opens the door.

Kurt’s eyes widen when they meet Finn’s, and he hurls himself into the taller boy’s arms, propelling them both back against the door. The door clicks shut behind them. Finn looks down at Kurt’s face, his eyes wide with fear, his skin even paler, and his chest heaving heavily against Finn’s. “I woke up, and you were gone,” he sniffs, burying his face in Finn’s chest. “And I wasn’t sure if last night, and you being here was real or just a dream.”

“I’m here,” Finn says softly. Finn tightens his arms around Kurt, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt’s back. Kurt pulls back, just enough to look up at Finn. 

“Finn,” Kurt whispers. Their eyes lock, and Finn watches as Kurt stretches up, just a little, moving in closer, and closer. Finn closes his eyes, his heart racing as he waits for Kurt’s lips against his. 

But then the door behind him is moving, the handle jiggling.

“Kurt, kiddo, are you alright,” Burt asks through the door.

“’M fine dad,” Kurt drops back down flat-footed, sniffing against Finn’s chest, and then looks up at the other boy. “Just a nightmare. But it’s okay, Finn’s here. I’ll be okay.”

Finn can feel his own heart beating out of his chest with how close they are pressed together, and the way Kurt’s chest is heaving against him. And then there is the fact that Kurt’s eyes are locked with his own, as if they are having some wordless conversation; not to mention that almost kiss. His breath hitches in his throat. But before he can say anything, Burt speaks again.

“Are you sure kid?” Burt asks.

Finn feels the door push open a little, but with both of their combined weight against it, it doesn’t move very far. He drops an arm from around Kurt and reaches back, grabbing the knob and maneuvering them away from the door so it can open. He still has one arm around Kurt, and Kurt’s head is still resting above his rapidly thumping heart. 

“I’m fine dad,” Kurt says reassuringly. “I may have attempted to tackle Finn when he came in, but I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”

Burt and Carole both laugh slightly at Kurt’s words. Finn notices his mom has that same smile on her face as she looks at the two of them standing together. “Well, I have breakfast downstairs when you’re ready Kurt,” she says. With that, Carole guides Burt out of the room and back down the stairs. 

Finn moves and sits down on the bed, patting it for Kurt to join him.

“Why did I get the impression that your mom was trying to leave us alone?” Kurt asks.

Finn shrugs. “She came in this morning; we were snuggled up pretty tight.”

“Oh,” Kurt’s eyes go wide and he starts mumbling. “That really happened, then.”

Finn feels his cheeks redden slightly as he nods. “Yeah, if you are thinking about what I think you’re thinking about.” But although he feels slightly embarrassed, Finn can’t stop staring at Kurt; his face, his lips. He brings his hand up to cup Kurt’s cheek and strokes his thumb over it, leaning in to kiss Kurt, but at the last minute pressing his lips against Kurt’s cheek instead of his lips. “I didn’t exactly mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You didn’t mind,” Kurt says softly when Finn pulls away. “You didn’t mind me touching you this morning and you just kissed my cheek. Finn,” he breathes, eyes wide, “what are we doing?”

Finn shrugs. “Uh, consider it part of what I wanted to talk to you about? We should go for a walk, after breakfast, and we can have that talk.”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees, still with wide eyes. 

000

Finn fidgets with his hands as they walk over to the park. He clenches and unclenches them, letting them swing between him and Kurt until they almost brush accidentally, and then he shoves them in his pockets. He wants to put an arm around Kurt’s shoulders, but stops himself when Kurt begins talking about New York, NYADA, and some English guy named Adam.

“He’s nice, and he’s gay, and he actually likes me, but I just can’t find it in me to have anything other than friendly feelings for him,” Kurt says as they walk along. “Well, maybe a little more than friendly; I mean his accent is delicious, and I do find him cute, but I don’t feel for him how I felt for… other people.”

“Like Blaine,” Finn finishes for him.

Kurt nods. “And other people,” he offers Finn a crooked smile, “like you.” 

Finn feels a flush in his cheeks. “I thought after Mr. Schue’s wedding; hooking up with Rachel and then coming to New York to help Santana deal with Brody…”

“And I’m still not sure I forgive you for not even calling me or letting me know you were in town Finn Hudson,” Kurt interrupts, lightly punching Finn’s arm as they walk.

“Sorry,” Finn mumbles as he rubs at his arm. “Anyhow, I thought that maybe I was heading down a path that might lead me to New York…”

“To Rachel,” Kurt interrupts again with a curt nod.

“Kind of,” Finn agrees as they reach the park. “But when I thought of New York City and my life there, the only constant, the only thing I was sure of, was you.” 

“Of course,” Kurt supplies as he sits down on a swing. “I’m always going to be in your corner. I’m always going to support you, no matter what you want to do.”

Finn shakes his head, as he sits in the swing next to Kurt. “But it’s more than that. I’ve kind of started seeing you, and us, a little differently.”

Kurt’s eyebrows scrunch up, and he looks over at Finn. “What do you mean differently? How do you see me? Us?”

Finn blows out a huge puff of air. “Well, like maybe I see a guy with hair kind of like yours but I think ‘it’s similar, but Kurt’s is still better’. Or a guy will walk by in skinny jeans but I can’t help but think that they’d look better on you.”

Kurt shakes his head. “You’ve been looking at guys in skinny jeans and thinking I’d look better?” he squeaks. 

Finn nods and bites at his bottom lip. “And sometimes at night, before I drift off to sleep, I think about what it might have been like if I wasn’t so afraid; if I hadn’t said no to your efforts?”

Kurt swallows harshly. “And what else do you think about Finn?”

“I think about what it would be like to kiss you,” Finn says softly. “What it would be like to ask you out on a date.”

“Is that really something you’d like?” Kurt asks. “Because I wouldn’t be adverse to either of those ideas,” he replies flirtatiously. 

“So do you maybe want to go out, on a date, with me, tonight?” Finn asks breathlessly, eyes downcast, his feet digging into the sand. 

Kurt reaches out, his hand cupping Finn’s jaw and tilting his head up, meeting his eyes. “I’d love to. What would you like to do, Finn? I’m up for anything as long as it’s with you.”

Finn’s eyes twinkle and his smile is wide and genuine. “Dinner? And a movie? Or Bowling? Mini golf?”

Kurt taps his lips as he thinks about the choices. “Dinner and bowling could be fun,” he agrees. “And Dad will be so impressed you got me to go bowling with you.” 

Finn feels his eyes widen with panic.

“We don’t have to tell anyone why we’re going bowling,” Kurt explains. “Just that we are. There is nothing wrong with two guys going bowling. You and Puck have gone bowling before.”

Finn nods, relaxing but feeling guilty. “It’s not that; I swear Kurt.” He reaches over and puts his hand on Kurt’s thigh, just above his knee. “I’m just not sure how Burt will feel about me dating his son. He and I are in a really good place right now, and I don’t want to wreck that.”

“Fine,” Kurt nods. “But if this goes well, between us, the longer we keep it from him and Carole, the worse it’s going to be.” 

“You’re probably right,” Finn agrees.

“No probabilities about it. So is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” Kurt asks. “Or is there more?”

“No, that’s pretty much it,” Finn admits with a laugh. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? It’s okay that I have feelings for you now? That I kind of want to do stuff I’ve never wanted even to think about before, with you?”

Kurt nods, his eyes wide, and exhales deeply. “I’m very good with all of that.” He reaches over and takes Finn’s hand in his. “I’m really glad I came home this weekend. I’m not glad about what brought me home, but I’m pretty happy with the outcome.” He squeezes Finn’s hand. “Let’s go home. I have a hot date tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for the long wait; I hope there are a few of you still hoping to read this. The last chapter is almost complete and will be posted by Aug 23rd.


	5. Laying it All on the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Kurt go on a date. And later that night, they still have to share a bed.

Finn bounds down the stairs and into the kitchen, smiling at his mom. “Um, Kurt and I are going to go grab some dinner together and then maybe go bowling, okay?” he kind of asks. 

 

Carole laughs. “Really Finn; it’s not like you boys need our permission,” she says.  
“Kurt’s going bowling?” Burt asks at the same time, looking up from his car manual, eyes squinting at Finn.

 

“I know,” Finn says to his mom. “But we’re both here, and I just didn’t want to put you out by taking off and not saying anything.” He smiles at her before turning to look at Burt and nodding. “He wants to hang out, I want to bowl, so we’re going bowling.” He bites at the inside of his lip as that’s not exactly the truth and he’s always had a hard time lying to Burt. 

 

Burt nods, impressed. “You boys have fun. Try not to cream him too bad son,” he says, his head tucking back into his manual. 

 

Finn sputters and chokes, coughing in an attempt to cover his embarrassment at Burt’s words. “I’ll try not to Burt,” Finn says, his eyes glued to his shoes. 

 

Finn walks into the living room and sits down on sofa. His hands rub nervously at his thighs. The jeans are new, or newer, anyway. Most of the clothes he’d worn senior year just didn’t fit right once he’d returned from Georgia. And Finn has actually begun picking pants that aren’t quite as loose as before. The shirt is newish as well, a Christmas gift from Kurt actually. The navy Yankee’s tee is definitely the tightest tee-shirt he owns but he tries not to pick too much at it, and hopes the thought will make Kurt smile. 

 

“Are we good to go?” Kurt asks, his voice coming from the stairs. 

 

Finn turns, looking at Kurt, his jaw going slack. He’s picking at an invisible piece of lint on his grey checked pants, and tugging at his red and black argyle shirt slightly. “I could have sworn these used to fit not quite so tight,” he hears Kurt say. He smiles, standing up and walking over closer to Kurt. “You look great,” he says softly, “and yes we’re good to go as soon as you’re ready.”

 

Kurt looks up, a smile on his lips, a pinkish tint to his cheeks. “You too. Nice shirt by the way.”

 

“This old thing?” Finn teases, pulling at it slightly. “I don’t even remember.”

 

“Jerk,” Kurt says playfully, lightly swatting him in the arm. “I must admit though, I made a good pick. It looks really good on you.”

 

Finn nods. “I like it. I thought it was a little tight at first, but I’m getting used to it,” he says as he grabs a sweater off the hooks by the door and shoving his feet into a pair of loafers. 

 

Kurt pouts slightly, grabbing his own light jacket, and pulling on his boots. “What? No McKinley Letterman jacket or that denim one you used to always wear?”

 

Finn shakes his head. “Nah. Too warm, too old for the Letterman jacket, and the denim one doesn’t fit the same anymore.” He opens the door for both of them and walks out to the truck. Not his old truck, but Burt’s. 

 

“Sometimes I still expect to see you in that thing, the Letterman jacket I mean, in the halls of NYADA,” Kurt sighs, following Finn to the truck. “Breadsticks?” he asks, once they’re both in the truck, fastening their seat belts. 

 

“I actually had somewhere else in mind,” Finn says as he stretches his arm out across the back of the seat, behind Kurt’s shoulders, as he backs out of the driveway. “It’s a little diner actually not that far from the bowling alley. It doesn’t look that great from the outside, or even inside, but it’s clean, the food is really good, and the service is great.”

 

000

 

“I’ve got to admit that diner is pretty cool,” Kurt admits later that night, as they’re driving home. “It’s a shame we didn’t know about that place last year. It would have been a great double date spot.” 

 

“I actually did know about it,” Finn admits. “But I never suggested it because they don’t really have anything vegan and it just never seemed like a fancy enough place for Rachel. Blaine either for that matter,” he says, his nose scrunching up a little as he keeps driving across town. 

 

“But it was somehow fancy enough for me?” Kurt sniffs.

 

“Dude,” Finn sighs, rolling his eyes. He gestures at Kurt with one hand, “I know under all that fancy stuff, you’re still Burt Hummel’s son. You love a good burger with all the fixings, some onion rings, and root beer floats.” He turns his head slightly, smiling at Kurt. “I’ve lived with you for like two years dude. And not just lived with you, but hung out with you, did the double date thing with you; I know you.”  
Kurt laughs. “I suppose that’s right. Just like I know that you really do like warm milk with a light dusting of nutmeg, especially with cookies.” He catches Finn’s eye and smiles again. “I know that spot on your head that you like scratched when we’re watching movies, and that ticklish spot just under your left shoulder. And I know when you’re really sad you curl up with as many pillows and blankets as you can find and watch Laurel and Hardy dvds.” 

 

“Sssshhhh Kurt,” Finn chuckles. “Not even Puck knows that one.” As they get closer to the Hudson-Hummel house, Finn looks over to Kurt again. “Did you have an okay time bowling?” 

 

Kurt nods, his gazed focussed out the window. “The first game was horrible and I wanted to give up.” Out of the corner of his eye, Finn can see Kurt turn, looking at him. “The second game wasn’t too bad though. And then you let me win the third game,” he says with a smirk.

 

“I didn’t,” Finn insists indignantly, but with a smile. “Okay, maybe a little. But you legitimately did get better each game as well.” 

 

“I appreciate the thought nonetheless,” Kurt says, tilting his head. “And I actually had fun. I think I’d forgotten what it’s like to have you around.”

 

Finn sniffs a little as he pulls into their driveway. “Well I’m glad you had fun at least. I think a bad first date would be really awkward for us.” He shifts in his seat, facing Kurt a little more. “So, um, at the end of a date, I’d normally walk my date to their door, and hope for a kiss. But your door is kinda my door too and there’s an awful lot of people who could be on the other side of that door. Not that I’m ashamed or something, just, this is about us, not about other people, you know.”

 

Kurt nods, and Finn catches a glimpse of his perfect white teeth shining in the darkness of the truck cab. “Is that your way of asking me if you can kiss me? Because if it was, the answer is yes.” 

 

Finn feels Kurt’s hand on his leg, just above his knee as he leans in and uses his left hand to cradle the side of Kurt’s face before pressing their lips together. He hears Kurt hum contentedly into the kiss and presses a little harder, letting his tongue dart out and lick over Kurt’s top lip. He feels Kurt’s lips part, and Finn’s tongue flicks in quickly, his mouth swallowing an almost obscene moan from Kurt. He pulls back, a little breathless, flush, and warm. “Thank you. I had a really good time tonight.”

 

“Me too,” Kurt says, and he leans in and kisses Finn chastely once more. “I kind of wish I was staying a little longer so we could do this again.”

 

“When are you leaving?” Finn asks, pulling back, yet scooting a little closer to Kurt on the bench seat. 

 

“I really should fly back before class Monday,” Kurt says with a sigh.

 

Finn grins. “So, can we do this again tomorrow?”

 

Kurt leans the side of his head on the seat back, his hand finds Finn’s and settles on top of it. “I’d like that”

 

Finn flips his hand over and laces his fingers with Kurt’s. “We could see a movie tomorrow, instead of bowling. And maybe brave Breadsticks before hand?”

 

“Hmmm,” Kurt murmurs happily, “That sounds good.” He shifts towards Finn a little more, his hand coming up to rest on Finn’s face. 

 

Finn smiles as he leans in, pressing his lips to Kurt’s again. He wraps an arm around Kurt, pulling him in closer, shifting his own body, until he almost has Kurt in his lap. He feels, as much as he hears, Kurt make a pleased sound in his throat as they continue to kiss. Finn’s hands grab at the fabric of the back of Kurt’s shirt, bunching it in his fists as their kisses get more and more heated.

 

When Kurt pulls back, breathless, but laughing lightly, Finn just groans. “I think if we stay out here, keep kissing, we run a very good risk of being seen by people we don’t want to be seen by.”

 

“Why does there have to be other people?” Finn whines. “I don’t want there to be other people and then we don’t have to worry and we can stay here and just keep doing that.”

 

Kurt shifts off his lap, and straightens his clothes in the dim light. “Regardless, we should go in now,” he says, opening his door.

 

Finn exhales deeply a couple of times, and gets out of the truck, hitting the automatic locks. He puts an arm casually over Kurt’s shoulders as they walk up the walk and into the house. 

 

000

 

The living room is dark, except for the glow from the television, as Kurt tiptoes down the stairs. “Finn,” he whispers, “are you down here?” He sees Finn raise his arm, waving his hand. The taller man is stretched out on the couch, a pillow under his head, an afghan around his body.

 

“Why didn’t you come up to bed?” Kurt asks softly, standing between the couch and t.v. 

 

Finn shrugs. “It doesn’t feel right, to sleep there tonight.”

 

“It doesn’t feel right to sleep in your room, in your bed tonight?” Kurt asks, confused. 

 

“No,” Finn shakes his head. Kurt watches Finn’s eyes dart around the dim room for a second. “We went on a date tonight,” he whispers, “I don’t want you to think we have to do, something, because we’re forced to share a bed because of all the extra people in the house. I’ll just sleep down here; it’s fine.” 

 

Kurt smiles. “I came home because I thought something horrible might have happened to you,” he says softly. “You tell me you have more than brotherly feelings for me, and you expect me to sleep upstairs, in your bed, alone?” Without waiting for an answer he gently pushes at Finn’s chest, pushing him onto his back on the couch. Then Kurt lifts the blanket, and gets in underneath it, laying on top of him. Kurt smiles as Finn bites back a groan while he shifts around on top of the taller man, to get more comfortable.

 

“This might be a little uncomfortable, especially in the morning when people find us,” Kurt says. “But if you’re sleeping down here, so am I.” He shifts again, wrapping his arms around Finn. “Or we can go upstairs, where there is a door, with a lock, where I don’t have to lay on top of you.”

 

Kurt feels Finn’s hands grip his hips firmly, keeping him in place. “What if I want you to?” Finn groans. “What if I want to go upstairs with you and have you lay on me?” Finn’s hips roll against Kurt’s. “I know that’s not typical after first date behaviour.”

 

Kurt moans softly, his lips brushing along the underside of Finn’s jaw. “I’d like that,” he murmurs. “I’d like that a lot.” He continues to grind against Finn. “I had my hand wrapped around your cock this morning, Finn,” Kurt whispers hotly, “I think we’re past typical first date behaviour.”

 

Finn lifts his head, fusing his lips against Kurt’s, kissing him messily. “We really should go upstairs,” he says between kisses. “Like right now.” Finn turns off the t.v. with the remote. Somehow they manage to stand up and climb the stairs while still kissing, entering Finn’s room, and tumbling onto the bed together. 

 

“Finn, Finn,” Kurt whispers, pulling away slightly. “I want to try something.” His lips mouth hotly at Finn’s neck, moving down to the collar of his shirt. “Can I take this off?”

 

Finn nods, eyes lidded and dark. “Yours too,” he mumbles, his hands scrunching up the fabric of Kurt’s tee, exposing most of his back. 

 

Kurt pushes Finn’s shirt up under his arms, waiting until the taller man raises just enough to pull the offending article from his body. Kurt pulls his shirt off at the same time, allowing it to drop off the side of the bed with Finn’s. He runs his hands over Finn’s bare chest, his nails brushing over the heated skin. He smiles, watching the skin pebble in the wake of his touch.

 

Kurt barely registers Finn’s hands on his own torso, palms just under his arms, fingers splayed across his back, thumbs lazily stroking the skin on his chest. Kurt shivers slightly as the touch registers in his brain. Kurt leans down, Finn’s hands sliding around to his back, and begins kissing his way down Finn’s chest. He hears Finn squeak, and looks up to see the other man’s eyes widen when he realizes what Kurt is about to do. 

 

“Is this okay,” Kurt whispers huskily, his eyes flicking up to Finn’s, his fingers hooked in the elastic waist of Finn’s pyjama pants. “Can I blow you?” Kurt smiles as Finn shuts his eyes; his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth as he nods. He gently eases Finn’s pants down, past his knees and settles himself between Finn’s thighs. 

Kurt licks at the tip of Finn’s cock. It’s already hard, and Kurt can’t wait to take it into his mouth. He mouths at the shaft, his tongue coming out to lick at it, as Kurt attempts to make Finn’s cock as slick as possible before sinking his lips around it. He smirks as Finn fists his hands in the covers of bed, and attempts not to writhe too much under Kurt. When his lips finally slip over the head of Finn’s cock, the taller man moans and that encourages Kurt to take him even deeper.  
“Kurt, Kurt, oh Fuck, Kurt,” Finn begins to chant in a hushed voice. 

 

Kurt pulls up, almost off, of Finn’s cock. “Do you need me to stop?” he asks, not really wanting to stop and not really thinking Finn wants him to stop either.

 

“Fuck no,” Finn hisses. “Why would I, ah, oh, want you to do that?”

 

Kurt hollows his cheeks and sinks down Finn’s cock again. He grabs one of Finn’s hand in his, and brings it to his head, encouraging the other man to grip his head while he sucks his cock. He feels Finn’s fingers run through his hair, gently tugging on the tresses as he works over the other man with his mouth. Finn continues to whine, continues to chant Kurt’s name and a series of expletives under his breath. When he feels Finn’s fingers tightening in his hair, and his hips bucking up into his mouth, he knows the other man is close. 

 

Kurt pulls off of Finn’s cock with a wet ‘pop’, earning him a whine from Finn. His own cock is hard, throbbing, and already leaking inside his own shorts. He quickly shimmies out of the them, and moves up Finn’s body, kissing him roughly. “Gimmie your hand,” he husks. Kurt takes both of their hands, wrapping them around both cocks, and begins to stroke them together. 

 

Finn’s voice is low, rough, and incredibly arousing in Kurt’s ear. “This is so hot Kurt; you’re so Kurt.” Finn’s mouth drops to Kurt’s neck, mouthing wetly there, whining, and gasping against the skin. It all heightens Kurt’s arousal and he’s close to coming when Finn bites down on his shoulder to muffle his cry as he comes all over their hands and Kurt’s cock. That sends Kurt over the edge as well, and he buries his head in Finn’s neck, moaning the other man’s name softly through his orgasm, adding to the warm, and sticky mess between them.

 

Kurt collapses against Finn, the two of them panting harshly as they recover from their respective climaxes. He relaxes as Finn’s hand strokes up and down his back, and presses chaste, closed mouth, kisses into his hair. “Ugh,” Kurt moans disdainfully, “we’ll be a mess in the morning if we don’t clean up.” He gets up, walking over to Finn’s small bathroom, and wetting a cloth, and then wiping himself off. He rinses the cloth and returns to the bed, wiping at Finn. “Are you okay?” Kurt asks an otherwise quiet Finn.

 

Finn smiles brightly at Kurt, wrapping him up in his arms. “I’m great. Really, really great,” he says softly, nuzzling his nose against Kurt’s. 

 

“We should get a little more presentable, and maybe unlock the door before we go to sleep tonight,” Kurt whispers. “In case your mother decides to come in tomorrow morning again.” Kurt puts on his clothes, tossing Finn his shirt, and then unlocking the door, before settling under the blanket with Finn. “In case I forgot to tell you, I had a really good time tonight,” he says. “I’m really glad you asked me out.”

 

Finn laughs softly, kissing Kurt. “I’m glad because I had a good time too.” He pushes the hair back off Kurt’s forehead, looking into his eyes. “Thank you for saying yes.”

Kurt chuckles.”Like I’d ever say no to you.” He closes his eyes, letting Finn’s fingers on his back and his heartbeat beneath his ear lull him to sleep. “I love you, Kurt,” he hears Finn whisper. “Love you too,” Kurt mumbles as he drifts off into a beautiful dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading.


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